This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
