Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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