I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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