You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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