Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My bed is full of blood and feathers
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
