I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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