Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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