How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
