Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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