Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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