i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
