so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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