There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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