shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
