she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Less talking, more tequila
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
