This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
