Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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