Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
