you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
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Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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