oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
