dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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