Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
