fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
