Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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