All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
