erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
