i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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