I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
