i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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