My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
