He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My bed smells like the plague
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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