Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You pole danced in your parka.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
