I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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