very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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