Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.