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• (801): View more from Utah

  The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (914): View more from New York

  im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

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• (510): View more from California

  I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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• (813): View more from Florida

  He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME

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