shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee