weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.