How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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