I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize