They should really pass out barf bags in church
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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