epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
