Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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