You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize