I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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