Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
