I hate all girls vehemently.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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