Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
