It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
