She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
