Yo dont text me then not text me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says