i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven