Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
