Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
