please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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