If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
