the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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