Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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