I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
