Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
