I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
