try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
