I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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