I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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