ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
